Bad move! Put yourself in James’ shoes. How would you feel if this was happening to you? Also think about how this impacts the team as a whole – people won’t play their best when they’re living in fear of being victimized.

Good move! This behaviour has created a toxic environment on the team. While this move is not as good as apologizing and making it right, it’s a step in the right direction. Talking to your teammates also shows positive leadership, and will make it more likely that the bullying will stop.

What would you say to them?

Model statements:

● This is crossing the line, guys. We need to stop.
● This team will play better if everyone feels like part of the team. That’s enough.

Good move! This shows empathy and positive leadership. It gives you the opportunity to truly make it right, and this move will likely also benefit the team as a whole. Everyone will do better when they feel safe.

What would you say to James?

Model statements:

● Ok, this isn’t cool. Guys, we need to back off. Sorry, James - It won’t happen again.
● My bad. We shouldn’t be treating a teammate this way.

Bad move! While this can be a necessary “survival” strategy in the moment, it should not be your final move. They have no right to treat you this way, and you don’t have to stay there and put up with it. If you feel that you can walk away, do so and seek help immediately. 

Bad move! This approach could backfire and make the situation worse. It also sends the message that violence is an appropriate solution to peer victimization. Relationship problems require relationship solutions. 

Good move! This is not something you should handle alone, because bullying is NOT a normal interaction.

What would you say if you were James?

Model statements:

● Coach? I need some help (describe situation)
● (Describe situation) I don’t think I can handle this on my own

Bad move! Ignoring bullying is the same as condoning it. While you may be tempted to choose this move for fear that you’ll be targeted next, there are other ways to support your teammate while also avoiding being victimized yourself. Try reporting it to an adult, or interrupting the action by telling James that the trainer wanted to talk to him. This gives James an out to leave the situation.

Good move! This is an example of upstanding. Research shows that when an upstander intervenes in a bullying situation, the bullying tends to stop within seconds.

What would you say to the players who are bullying?

Model statements:

● Guys, that’s not cool. You need to stop.
● Why do you have to pick on him?

Good move! You can ask him to sit with you, call his parents, walk him home, etc. You can also reassure him that you don’t support what is happening, and that you’re there to help.

What would you say to James?

Model statements:

● I’m sorry they’re being jerks. Why don’t you warm up with us next time?
● I want you to know that I’m not cool with what’s happening. Stick with us and hopefully they’ll back off.

Good move! This is not something any of you should handle alone, because bullying is NOT a normal interaction. 

What would you say if you were in this situation?

Model statements:

● Coach? I need some help (describe situation)
● (Describe situation) I don’t think I can handle this on my own